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Dealing with Difficult People

Difficult people typically have personality disorders: narcissism, borderline, histrionic, avoidant and dependant.

 

Narcissistic people, in particular, rarely enter counselling. Rather, the people in relationships with them do, as they suffer in trying to relate with these abnormal people - who may be parents, friends, bosses, neighbours etc. 

 

What is a Narcissist?

If someone in your life makes you feel wrong most of the time or needs things to be done their way most of the time or simply is right most of the time, then you may be dealing with a narcissist. Many people have narcissistic traits (i.e., less than five in the check list below) making relationships with them difficult. It is impossible to have a normal relationship with someone who has a full Narcissistic Personality Disorder. People who maintain a relationship with them are either doing so for strategic reasons or have  personality or mental health issue themselves. The full disorder is so dysfunctional that it is virtually impossible to cure. This is because inherent in the diagnosis is the belief by the narcissist that there is nothing wrong with them – that everyone else is at fault. Underlying this behaviour is a lack of sense of self and hence a continuous need for attention and to feel good about themselves. There is a difference between sexes: males initially present as leaders or charismatic and become aggressive when challenged; females often present as martyrs or needy who become rigid, aggressive or victims when challenged.  

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Ask Amanda

Amanda
How do I know if I have clinical depression?
Charles
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June
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